Saturday, February 14, 2015

The Best Valentine's Day Gift To Give Your Wife

So today is Valentine's Day. This is the day when you are suppose to go out and buy flowers, candy, a stuff animal or take your wife out. You are suppose to do this because this is suppose to be an expression of your love for your wife.

These things are cool. However, the reality is it's not really all that special. It's just stuff. Half the stuff if not more, your wife isn't even going to remember.

However, what if you could get your wife the ULTIMATE Valentine's Day gift?

Guess what? You can!

The Ultimate Valentine's Day Gift!

So what is the "ultimate" valentine's day gift? The ultimate valentine's day gift is to love your wife.

But you say, I do love my wife! I love the way she cooks. I love the way she cleans. I love the way she dresses. I love her passion for helping people. I love the way she handles her business in the bedroom! You start listing all of the things you love about your wife.

However, that's not true love.

One of the mistakes I made in my marriage is I didn't understand true love. I thought love was the things that I liked that my wife did for me. The challenge though is that there are also things that I didn't like. A lot of things. Since my concept of love was, like many people, what I like about a person, and since that was her concept as well, it was only a matter of time before the things that we didn't like added up.

You cannot build a lasting relationship on a love that is based on what you like and what someone does for you. Life is too long and time will either promote you or expose you.

Time exposed me and it exposed my ex wife and it showed that we didn't really love each other. Thus the reason why we are not married today.

How To Give Your Wife The Best Valentine's Day Gift?

So if this isn't true love, what is true love? Here's what it looks like...

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."
Ephesians 5:25 NIV

True love is based on sacrifice. It's not based on feelings.

The word love in this scripture is translated from a Greek word "agape." One of the best definitions of agape that I've heard was written by author Thomas Jay Oord. He says agape is...

"an intentional response to promote well-being when responding to that which has generated ill-being."

I thought that was so perfectly worded because that's EXACTLY what Christ did for us! 

Christ loved us even when we were in our sinful state. It is only because of Christ's love for us that we are able to show Christ love in return.

As a husband this is the type of love that you are called to love your wife. Many times your wife is going to be absolutely unloveable. She is going to have a nasty attitude. She is going to be rude. She is going to be disrespectful. She is going to nag you and frustrate you to no end.

Love her anyway.

If you learn how to do this, this will far outlast any type of flowers, candy or restaurant that you can take your wife to.

Just like we come to love Christ because of his love, the love for your wife has the power to change her as well. Check out Ephesians 5:25-26.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
Ephesians 5:25-27

Love isn't about how your wife makes you feel. Love is about the amount of SACRIFICE that you are willing to make for your wife. 

Now this doesn't mean you just let her do whatever she wants. Christ doesn't do this either. He challenges us when we need to be challenged. You are to do the same for your wife. However, when it comes time to make a sacrifice, that is the time that you really show your love for your wife.

It cost me my marriage to learn this valuable lesson. If I get another opportunity, I will absolutely take advantage of it. However, the fact is, I may not get another opportunity and that's something I will just have to live with if that is the case.

You, however, you have the opportunity right now! Seize the opportunity to love your wife in the TRUE sense of the word, not the commercialized holiday sense of the word.

Brother, are you up for the challenge?

Go for it! It's truly the best Valentine's Day gift you can give your wife.